Day 56 What's all the hub bub?

It's Easter time, even if you don't go to church or never heard the story you'll know from all of the obnoxious pastel bunny decorations in every store and restaurant. On the radio I heard Ryan Secrest refer to Easter as a "free pass to eat chocolate".... needless to say even I cringed, and lets just say I'm pretty hard to offend.

However, it got me thinking... why do we celebrate Easter? Minus the obvious reason of honoring the gift of salvation, which is a good enough reason on it's own. BUT why do I celebrate it and what makes it personal to me?

Through each stage of the cross from praying alone, to the betrayal, beatings, the horrific scene at the cross, to the last breath, and finally to the resurrection I can see myself in a much much smaller scale of my own life. I can see where I've been betrayed, beaten, and hung out to dry all for the sake of the cross. Nothing like what some in other countries endure! However where I really connect is the resurrection. I wonder if it's because I suffer from a form of depression which is dark and deadly at times. The thought of new life is exhilarating. Starting over with a clean slate. It makes my eyes brighter and my steps lighter.

If you are reading this and you don't know what kind of peace and joy a new life brings I beg you to simply ask God. Ask Him for forgiveness that your sins have won over your heart and that you can't control yourself sometimes. He understands and knows your heart so there is no need to be ashamed because He loves you despite the dark spots on your soul. Ask Him for a fresh start and a clean slate. Watch what He can do:)

Love,

Crystal

PS If you need any further help or prayer please contact me at kilby16@comcast.net and I'll be happy to walk with you on your journey!

Day 55 Humbled-short & sweet :)

I'm naturally humble... In the dictionary sense of being low in height... the other definitions I struggle with :)

1. Not proud or arrogant

2. Feeling of insignificance

3. Low in rank or importance

Why are we called to be humble? In my opinion it's because the opposite characteristics are an act or a facade. God wants us as we are, not as we want others to see us.

Love,

me

Day 54 Thirsty Thursdays....

I should call this blog 365 Thirsty Thursdays. It's easy to get inspired with 64 ounces of caffeine coursing through your veins. I woke up in a totally different mood though. Head and back hurting and everything in the world weighing on my shoulders. After some meds and a nap I'm sitting here with my son. Me on my computer, he on his. He's enjoying his first donut. EVER. Strawberry frosted with sprinkles. What could be better? :) Ok back on task...

When I write music I'm usually very sad or heavy hearted, when I write creatively for my blog I'm usually in a great mood- either caffeine induced or not, and when I'm crafty I'm usually manic. I'm wandering, is God always ready but we aren't? Or does he wait until our heart is tender and speak through us and to us? Well I suppose both could be true. I guess my real question is do we get in the way of God's greatness? I would have to say emphatically YES. I know I get in His way all of the time.... atleast I feel like it. Is that the truth or my low self esteem- always feeling "in the way"?

I'd like to get to heaven and find out I was mostly helpful. That God liked me, respected my character, not just loved me. Don't get me wrong- God's love is intense enough on it's own.... but I desire to be the kind of person Jesus would have been close to. I don't know how else to explain it but to use my personal experience in love. I love a lot of people deeply, but there are few I feel I can truly trust with me in entirety- my inner struggles, my heart, etc.

I want to be open, the kind of heart that stays soft to the yearnings of my God. Rather it be in my arts, my friendships, or my personal theology and ministry- I desire to be all out and sold out.

Love,

me