Day 54 Thirsty Thursdays....

I should call this blog 365 Thirsty Thursdays. It's easy to get inspired with 64 ounces of caffeine coursing through your veins. I woke up in a totally different mood though. Head and back hurting and everything in the world weighing on my shoulders. After some meds and a nap I'm sitting here with my son. Me on my computer, he on his. He's enjoying his first donut. EVER. Strawberry frosted with sprinkles. What could be better? :) Ok back on task...

When I write music I'm usually very sad or heavy hearted, when I write creatively for my blog I'm usually in a great mood- either caffeine induced or not, and when I'm crafty I'm usually manic. I'm wandering, is God always ready but we aren't? Or does he wait until our heart is tender and speak through us and to us? Well I suppose both could be true. I guess my real question is do we get in the way of God's greatness? I would have to say emphatically YES. I know I get in His way all of the time.... atleast I feel like it. Is that the truth or my low self esteem- always feeling "in the way"?

I'd like to get to heaven and find out I was mostly helpful. That God liked me, respected my character, not just loved me. Don't get me wrong- God's love is intense enough on it's own.... but I desire to be the kind of person Jesus would have been close to. I don't know how else to explain it but to use my personal experience in love. I love a lot of people deeply, but there are few I feel I can truly trust with me in entirety- my inner struggles, my heart, etc.

I want to be open, the kind of heart that stays soft to the yearnings of my God. Rather it be in my arts, my friendships, or my personal theology and ministry- I desire to be all out and sold out.

Love,

me