"Grace means............ there is nothing we can do to make God love us more. And Grace means there is nothing we can do to make God love us less." - Philip Yancey
Someone once told me that you show grace to the measure you have been shown. It seems almost contradictory to what I was brought up thinking that the more grace you show to others the more is shown to you. The longer I live the more I believe the first one more. You see I've always been a very cynical and judgmental person. Although I hated this trait I could not change it on my own. Until I had been shown the full depth of the grace of God I didn't understand what this supernatural thing grace really was.
Before I started this blog I went through a time of what now I can identify as "Christian Atheism" which meant I knew there was a God but I lived as though He did not exist*. I was sure that God kept a score card on everyone, if you do good- good things happen and vise-versa. I had been saved since I was 7 and I didn't smoke, drink, do drugs, or sleep around I had been a good Christian for so many years so why was I suffering so much? I saw the wicked progress daily... so I cursed Him, turned my back, stopped going to church and even got a visceral reaction when I heard people talk of His "goodness".
I was so busy getting rid of all the bad doctrine and false promises that I dumped all the good and real stuff too. I had forgotten all the words and promises from scripture. Promises that God wants me to prosper and not to plummet, that I was a child of the King, that I had a free will to change my circumstances, yet others had a free will to hinder me or even hurt me, but God loves me all of the time no matter what.
Even though I had turned my back on Him and all He had taught my heart and done in my soul He started to soften my heart. I did nothing to deserve it, I'll never repay Him, and I can't promise to never question again but He loves me just the same.
And that my friends is Amazing.
Love,
me
*The Christian Atheist by Craig Groeschel
Crystal, i understand about growing up with expectations like that--how many times had someone quoted to us that verse "God works all things together for good for those who love him?" ("For good" doesn't necessarily mean your good, let alone your 'immediate" good, or even earthly (versus heavenly, eternal) good. A promise that is non-specific to time and place after-all!)
ReplyDeleteYour post reminds be of parts of my journey that occurred between FLight 800 tragedy and my father's passing from cancer right after I finished college.
I remember having to wrestle with the realization that Karma wasn't a Christina idea--though it certainly seems that so many Christians do believe and teach that that's what being a Christian is--be good, do good, and God's blessings will follow. While I do believe it is true--God's blessings will always follow--that doesn't translate to the human viewpoint of life being easier or that God also won't ask us to endure great trials simultaneously.
It is truly one of the hardest teachings of Christ. And you pinpoint why oversimplification of it is so detrimental to real peoples' faith!
I can't say i'll never struggle with this again either--but i've come a long way after sorting through that. I've developed another sensor for recognizing God's graces and blessings amidst struggles.
Thank you for sharing your heart Renee!
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