Wish I could say I fit in the first category but the truth is me and my control issues slide comfortably into the second. It is such a struggle for me to just let things go. If they aren't doing it how I think they should- the best way in my eyes- then they are obviously wrong. Right? Ick... I hate this about myself. I like to think I'm pretty open minded but how can you be truly open to new ideas when you are automatically trying to control the situation?
I wonder how much I've missed by doing things my own way essentially led out of selfish motives like the desire to be in control. I also figure I have missed a great deal in "waiting" on this big voice from heaven to tell me what to do because I'm afraid of making the wrong decision. Well you know, that way I'll have someone to blame if it doesn't go right... ugh...
There has got to be a middle ground where I don't have to be in control all of the time yet I exercise the brain and free will given me by my creator to make good decisions not based on fear or guilt but love. Wonder what that looks like? When I wake up I'm trying it- one decision at a time.
Love,
me
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