A correspondence had begun months ago and had started out as a question from Josiah "which belly did I grow in mommy? Yours or Daddy's?" What followed was nothing short of a miracle in my eyes. Words of grace and love poured from my mouth explaining the woman that I had once hated with all my heart for making the decisions that she did regarding her life, her children and her addiction. It occurred to me that when I looked in my sons eyes I couldn't hate her. Even though she had given him up for adoption and he would have to live with that decision for the rest of his life, I had to love her so I could show him how to.
Years ago when she had first celebrated being clean for a year she asked if she could visit and I knew in my gut that it was not the right time. It was too soon for Josiah, too confusing and too stressful for us as a family. We knew the right time would come, but it wasn't then. So we waited and three years later there it was. Cheryl has been clean for four years now, has a great part time job at a local grocery store, and is attending college classes to work toward her goal of owning her own business. She is a different woman than I ever knew her to be- kind, gentle, patient, loving, honest and free.
Josiah seemed to be in love with Cheryl from the moment he saw her, and who can blame him? She has blossomed into a beautiful young lady full of life, the way God made her. Years ago I said no to the meeting because I had a gut feeling, years later I said yes because of that gut feeling. God wanted Josiah to meet the Cheryl that she has turned into and never to have known what she was before. The grace in that gesture from God blew me away.
So even though I knew this was coming for years, it was an incredibly unexpected visit.
Love,
me
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